Banal TV
29 June 2009(Reprinted from The Edge - Options pullout, 29 June 2009 issue)
Insipid programmes, Iran in turmoil, pushing to extremes
Dear Kam,
Is it my imagination or is TV getting really boring?
My Flatscreen
via email
It’s a strange thing but the more TV stations we have, the duller our TV becomes. I can tell you with absolute certainty that right now on TV there is stuff about sharks, buildings being demolished, bridges being built, serial killers, The Nanny, a Steven Segal movie and the replay of an FA Cup semi-final from 1993 (and it’s not even the one where Ryan Giggs scored that goal). There are more stations out there in TV-land (the BBC has several and there’s my favourite, Turner Classic Movies) but we don’t get them in Malaysia. We have to be grateful for what we’ve got because satellites are so amazingly science-fiction.
After several hours of flicking through the stations, I occasionally stumble onto our very own local TV stations. I had completely forgotten about these but to refresh your memory there are two stations called RTM, there’s one called TV3 and there’s a brand new station called ntv7. I can’t find Metrovision anymore (not even on my old Mega TV transponder, which used to have TCM) but I have heard stories about two other TV stations called 8TV and TV9, but I’m sure these are just urban myths. I can tell you with absolute certainty that right now on Malaysian TV, there will be a man in a suit droning on about something even though nobody believes him. There will also probably be a local drama where a woman will be weeping whilst praying. If it’s early enough and nobody is actually watching, then there might also be an old Hong Kong and/or Tamil movie that everybody watched 10 years ago. I don’t want to be mean about our local TV productions because I’ve written and directed a few in my time and it’s amazing that they get made at all. The budgets are astonishingly small. There is money in TV but it doesn’t seem to make it into the production budget. I wonder where it goes? We would all love to see a vibrant and exciting local TV culture, but until the money leakage situation is sorted out, it ain’t gonna happen. Which means it’s never going to happen.
But fortunately, we have Astro. Astro has an exclusive lease on our satellite TV broadcasting that is only marginally shorter than the lease Britain had on Hong Kong, so Astro dictates what we get. If you don’t like the service, the prices or the channels they offer, then what are you going to do? Cancel your subscription and go and watch the local wayang kulit or Chinese opera troupe? We haven’t had any of those in the Melawati area for a long time.
People in other countries find it strange that we don’t have a chance to choose our satellite/cable provider. To give but one example, in Britain there are at least six providers and one called Freeview offers 48 channels, for free. But I suspect once again foreigners are being jealous of our success because last week, we launched the latest Measat satellite. It was launched on an amazing thing called a “rocket” and it probably has “lasers”. Other countries have moved away from satellite dishes to fibre-optic cable, broadband, mobile broadband, digital TV, and so on, but in Malaysia we like to feel close to nature when we watch TV because every time it rains, we lose reception. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but it rains a lot in Malaysia (second wettest country in the world after Cameroon) and now with Measat3 (not 4, got bad ong) we will be able to continue enjoying this state of affairs for a very, very long time. Some might say that we’ve trapped ourselves in obsolete technology but they don’t realise that most of us still travel to work on a water buffalo and are easily frightened by fire.
Dear Kam,
The demonstrations in Iran still haven’t stopped. Should I be worried?
Neda Sympathiser
via email
Demonstrations in Iran continue to grab the headlines. Despite being Shia and Persian, what happens in Iran is important. The Islamic Revolution of 1979 had a major impact on Malaysia by creating an Islamic consciousness and Muslim pride amongst many young people - many of whom are now in politics or are doing well in that hazy zone between public and private. Although it’s impossible to know for sure, it seems likely that there were some voting irregularities but that Ahmedinejad would have won anyway. But the extremely brave demonstrators have shown that a significant slice of society wants, well, what do they want? Presumably they are rejecting the theocracy that has ruled since the revolution. If that is the case, then it might be the start of something with ramifications as profound as the original Islamic Revolution. Democracy’s strength is that it can adapt to change without tearing society apart. The problem with any authoritarian rule is that it can only succeed if nothing ever changes.
Whatever it is that the demonstrators want, they clearly want something to change because something has got to change. I think I’m right in saying that there is 25% unemployment and that Iran’s second largest export after oil is pistachio nuts. I love pistachio nuts but it’s not good if that is your economy. Having said that, if you took oil and gas away from our economy, would we have enough to stand up? And what will happen when the oil and gas run out?
The demonstrations will eventually be quashed, Iran will get back to normal and the government will imagine that the problem has gone away. It’s funny how governments can think that just because they bash somebody in the head it makes them forget. What happens in Iran is important.
Dear Kam,
I’m really into extreme sports. I get a powerful adrenalin rush whenever I push myself to my limits by kayaking or fighting with bears. Everyone should do it because if they don’t, then they’re pansies.
Macho Malaysian
via email
I like to think that I am an ambitious man. I want to do big things and be rewarded for it. Unfortunately I’m very lazy, but this is Malaysia and we have shown the world that the two can go together. But there is one thing I have never been tempted to do. It’s something that a lot of people consider to be the pinnacle of achievement and ambition - climb Mount Everest. Every year, hundreds of people with little or no climbing experience pay lots of money to trudge up and hopefully trudge back down Mount Everest. I really don’t see the point but I worry that this makes me a lesser person. Shouldn’t I want to climb the highest mountain in the world? But I don’t want to climb Mount Everest or go bungee jumping or whitewater rafting or do anything that involves shouting “Wooo-yay!” Does that make me boring? Probably.
Having said that, perhaps we should push ourselves to extremes. You don’t have to do it by scaling a vertical cliff and chewing your own leg off because it’s trapped under a rock. Perhaps it’s enough to do the best work you can, do the work you want to do and try to be a useful addition to humankind. Besides, you can watch people climbing Everest on TV again and again and again.
Reprinted with the kind permission of
