Kam Raslan’s Talking Edge

(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 18 August 2008 issue)

synchronised wrestlers, busy times and brilliant skies over Putrajaya

Dear Kam,
The Olympics have started. Isn’t it great? Also, it’s happening in the same time zone as Malaysia. This way I can follow events on the computer while I’m at work, which means I’m killing two birds with one stone — following the Olympics and looking like I’m working.
Behind the Screen
Via email

I promised myself that I wouldn’t get dragged into the Olympics and yet within a day, I found myself glued to the TV and becoming emotionally invested in countries and athletes that I had never heard of before. I never knew I could care so much about South Korea or have such strong opinions about archery. Sadly, the Malaysian men’s archery team didn’t do too well.

At the beginning of the year, I heard a political commentator (it might have been Christopher Hitchens, but I can’t remember) say that the potentially big story for this year will be the gold medal battle between America and China at the Olympics. It has been a very bad eight years for America and if China wins the battle, then it could be a psychological blow for the American public. It could signal the end of the American century. Maybe it’s an overstatement but it’s something to look out for.

Meanwhile, will Malaysian athletes win anything? Personally, I don’t care. I’m not unpatriotic, I want them to win but I’m not going to attack them if they don’t. We’re not a sporty country, we’re an unhealthy and obese country. A few of us have decided to enter a life in sports despite the fact that it’s a very ill-advised career choice. They’d probably earn more money if they had a regular job. There’s always been a succession of old men haranguing our athletes despite the fact that they themselves have no idea what it’s like to be a top-level athlete. I knew a runner in Britain who dedicated his life to his sport. He trained every day, always ate the right food and had to find a low paying job that allowed him to take a lot of time off. And yet he never even made it into his national team. He simply wasn’t good enough. It’s a tough life.

Although I feel a little disturbed that I’m enjoying certain events at the Olympics (where on earth did my new-found love for equestrian dressage come from?) I will be drawing the line at some events. I really don’t see the point in synchronised swimming or wrestling. Having said that, if they could combine the two events then it might catch my attention.

Dear Kam,
I’m a recovering alcoholic and I don’t remember the last 10 years. Have I missed anything?
Hic, Hic
Via email

For the sake of my loyal readers (both of you) I usually try to comment on local politics. Before the March 8 elections, this was sometimes hard to do because nothing ever happened. Well, that is, nothing except the usual nonsense. But nowadays, there is too much happening and I can hardly keep up. There’s still the usual nonsense but there’s also some real stuff happening too. Here are just some of last week’s highlights. The return of sodomy (oh how we have missed you), an upcoming by-election where Anwar might get back into Parliament, and the shutting down of the Bar Council’s conversion forum where the police were strangely unable to control things and one PKR MP managed to cover himself with glory. In foreign news there is the dangerous possibility of an invasion of Malaysia by Avril Lavigne, but fortunately, PAS Youth are doing their utmost to protect us from the 21st century. Maybe things would be OK if she agrees to have a camel onstage and sing from inside a box.

There is the continuing slide in police credibility with too many examples to count, the continuing Kepong bridge situation, the continuing Altantuya murder trial, and there is the amazing story about the teacher who said awful, racist stuff in a classroom. That is such a sad story with Merdeka coming up, but it’s worth investigating how come the teacher thought she could say such things. I’m not going to investigate it but somebody should. And there is the exciting emergence of a thing called the ACA, which appears to be chasing after lots of people we’ve never heard of. It’s a startlingly bold development and a clear warning that people we’ve never heard of had better watch out, their days are numbered.

In fact, there is so much going on that my head is spinning. It’s as if we’re living in a new Malaysia where the old certainties are gone, or disappearing rapidly. It’s enough to make you confused. Fortunately, the government has everything under control by acting as if nothing has changed. Who knows, maybe they actually believe that nothing has changed? They don’t give the slightest impression that it’s anything other than business as usual.

Dear Kam,
I love fireworks but my parents won’t let me touch them since last Hari Raya. The good news is we’ll be moving into our new home soon.
Burned Down
Via email

For several nights in August the skies over Putrajaya are being lit up with fireworks for the Malaysian International Fireworks Competition. This is wonderful, because who doesn’t love fireworks? It’s a definite crowd-pleaser, and in the absence of anything worth celebrating, we are now actually celebrating fireworks themselves. This is brilliant and it’s made all the more not empty by the fact that it’s all happening at our beloved Putrajaya, which truly is the Eighth Wonder of the Nilai area.

Reprinted with the kind permission of