Kam Raslan’s Talking Edge

(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 2 June 2014 issue)

Dear Kam,
Did you watch the Thomas Cup?
One Malaysian

As you know, the Malaysian team got to the final of the Thomas Cup. Unfortunately, they lost in a nail-biting final match, so Japan got a national holiday and not us. Except, of course, Japan didn’t take the opportunity to declare a national holiday. Somebody on Twitter (sorry, but I can’t remember who) said he had an online chat with some Japanese friends and when he informed them that Japan had just won the Thomas Cup, the reply was, “Who’s Thomas?” They might just as well have answered, “What’s badminton?” But the Japanese team were worthy winners having beaten China and Malaysia, and it felt less upsetting than losing to China, again.

I didn’t watch the final because I was too scared. Badminton is the most terrifyingly fast game and it offers absolutely no let-up from the tension, so I watched the ebb and flow on Twitter instead. Also, I can get a bit embarrassingly emotional. Another reason why I didn’t watch the final was because I felt like a fraud. I don’t watch much badminton and it felt wrong for me to only jump in and start supporting my team during the good times. I didn’t watch the last Thomas Cup, I didn’t scream my support during All England, and I didn’t even watch the early rounds of this Thomas Cup. This is just my personal feeling and I’m not asking others to not support Malaysia. It’s just that I think that if I were to be a proper fan, then I should be there through all the bad times and not just turn up to revel in victory.

Having said that, the team played extremely well and managed to create a very moving and old-fashioned unifying moment because what could be more Malaysian than badminton? But I can’t help wondering what the future is for Malaysian badminton. It’s not played as intensively as it once was and it’s probably not the most tempting career choice for a young person in a rapidly developing economy like Malaysia’s. But if a fully developed and very middle-class nation like Japan can (possibly) become badminton’s new powerhouse, then perhaps anything is possible?

Dear Kam,
Can it be true? The Hindustan Ambassador is no more? It has ceased to be?
Car Buff

It is with great sadness that I must inform you that India’s Hindustan car company has suspended production. For decades, India’s economy was virtually sealed off from the outside world and the Hindustan Ambassador car enjoyed a monopoly on the streets of India. But now, India’s economy has opened up and a rapidly growing middle class (estimated to be larger than the entire population of Europe) is not satisfied with the outdated Ambassador. Modelled on the 1957 Morris Oxford, only 2,200 Ambassadors were sold in 2013, and with a car design that old there was obviously no attempt to export the car. It has managed to cling on to existence through the taxi market with 33,000 Ambassador taxis in Kolkata alone, but sadly they are now losing that market as well.

And so, India bids a fond farewell to the Hindustan Ambassador. It was once everybody’s first car but now it’s outdated and economically unviable because nobody wants it any more. Fortunately, that sort of heartless behaviour could never happen in Malaysia.

Dear Kam,
I read with interest that Ibrahim Ali has gone to London to open a branch of Perkasa. This seems like a, er, logical next step?
London Calling

Yes, the lure of the London junket, I mean “research trip”, I mean speaking to Malaysian students, I mean whatever, I’m off to London!

As you know, for far too long the British Empire has enslaved the Malaysian and Malay communities (these are two separate things, apparently) and forced them to study in Britain, buy property in London and shop in the Harrods food hall. This indignity must end! I think we need to adopt a “Look West-End” policy where we have a nice meal in Soho before watching Les Mis and then take some selfies in Trafalgar Square. It is only through such heroically brave actions as these that we can ever hope to use those winter clothes that are otherwise just going mouldy in the cupboard. Courage, air miles and shopping shall be our watchwords.

Question: Is it my imagination or does everybody have a different interpretation of Malaysian history? I’ve heard some versions of our history that are just plain whacky.
History Student

Many, many years ago, I had some time to kill so I went for a walk in the big cemetery opposite Dewan Bahasa. When I was in the middle of the cemetery, I bumped into a man who tried to sell me some kittens. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. I told him I didn’t want any kittens so he offered to be my tour guide instead and he proceeded to tell me the history of Malaysia. He told me that Dr Mahathir won independence for Malaysia in the 1980s when he beat the Americans with the help of the Japanese. He was adamant that this history was absolutely true despite the fact that he was old enough to have lived through this war in the 1980s, and yet he didn’t seem to have any actual memories of it. I don’t think he was entirely, you know, right in the head but I think there might be a number of people out there with a not entirely dissimilar grasp of history. After all, I read about an American historian who was talking to his teenage daughter about the Cold War and she thought the war had taken place in the North Pole, which is, you know, cold.

Reprinted with the kind permission of