Kam Raslan’s Talking Edge

(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 16 June 2014 issue)

Dear Kam,
My question is simple. Er, JAIS?
Believe It or Not

I’ve been trying to think of a context where this statement could possibly make any sense at all: “For example, if Rafael Nadal comes to Malaysia and goes to a church, we have to investigate because he has a Muslim name. So please do not jump to conclusions.” These words were spoken by the deputy director general of JAIS, Selangor’s Islamic enforcement department, when he was explaining why they had raided a Hindu wedding. My response is, wait, what?

Is Rafael Nadal a Muslim name? What is a Muslim name? Is Rafael Nadal an Arabic name? A quick search on the Internet suggests that Nadal is a Hindu name, although Nadel is an Arabic name. And there are Jewish blogs that suggest his ancestors were “conversos”, Jews who were forced to convert to Christianity in 15th century Spain. I hesitate to mention this but Muslims also had to convert and they were called “moriscos”. Maybe a lot of Spanish weddings need investigating. Who you gonna call?

Maybe Nadal is a Hindu name and the similar-sounding Nadel is Arabic but these are just linguistic coincidences because Rafael Nadal is from the faraway Spanish island of Mallorca. And maybe his ancestors were conversos or moriscos but that was 500 years ago, and no estranged father can live that long. Rafael Nadal is the world’s top-ranked tennis player and he’s from Spain. He does not have a Muslim name (what is a Muslim name?), he is not a Muslim nor is he Jewish. But he happens to be the world’s best tennis player and it’s sadly typical that suddenly, everyone should want to claim him as their own. It’s like “lifelong” Chelsea fans who suddenly become “lifelong” Manchester City fans when that team is doing better.

So I would like to make a suggestion. I think we should spread the love a bit and instead of claiming the top player, we should claim a lower-ranked player who actually needs our help. I’m looking at the ATP rankings and, at random, I nominate the world’s 19th player: Ukraine’s Alexandr Dolgopolov. After all, Iskandar is the Arabised version of Alexander and that name became popular because everybody was impressed by Alexander the Great, who is still ranked the world’s No 1 conqueror.

Dear Kam,
Maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention, but I haven’t heard much from our PM lately. I’m not complaining, I’m just not used to that.
Wonderwall

I can’t say I follow the itinerary very closely but I haven’t seen or heard from our PM very much recently. Up to and including the last general election, his face was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. During the last general election, I was unable to watch my favourite Lana Del Rey videos on YouTube without first having a message from the prime minister of Malaysia. But during the general election, commentators widely agreed that the idea was to promote an almost presidential image. And now things have gone strangely quiet. At the time of writing, the PM is in Turkmenistan and I saw the other day that he met with some young IT people, and then I saw that the very next day, the Queen of England did almost exactly the same thing in Britain. Typical foreigners.

My technique for news/politics watching is to scan the regular news outlets and see who is pushing the agenda — who is making the biggest noise, who is making waves, what are the stories that most Malaysians are being fed and reacting to. I don’t generally search for personalities, I let them come to me because if they can get through my lazy technique, then they must be the ones who, for good or for bad, are using media to its fullest. And with that technique in mind, I have found that the prime minister has been largely absent from my daily readings. That’s probably because of my laziness, but isn’t that what most people do?

Whether you voted for him or not, I think Malaysia is simply not used to having a quiet PM. I know that a news portal is being sued for sedition but to my mind that does not sound like policy; it’s a stalling tactic, but it is not grand policy. Perhaps my mind is still stuck in the style of the Dr M years and I don’t yet have the political maturity to be able to cope with a new style. Dr M followed in a tradition of previous PMs who aggressively, obviously and personally drove the government agenda, whether you agreed with it or not. The perception of a clarity of purpose gave everyone a focus for either their animus or adoration. In my humble opinion, I think that is what Malaysia is used to.

In physics, a vacuum will always be filled. There is never nothing, there is always something. If ever there is a vacuum, then there will be any number of elements willing to fill it.

Dear Kam,
World Cup! My question is simple: World Cup!
Gila Bola

At the time of writing, the World Cup has not yet started. And the anticipation is driving me crazy. But I don’t think I will end up watching as many of the 64 matches as I would normally want to. The time difference between here and Brazil is going to be really hard to deal with. Matches will start between 3am and 6am. Ouch! What will I do? Stay up all night or go to bed at 6pm and then get up really early? I just don’t know, but I predict four weeks of sleep deprivation. In fact, I’m worried that Brazil 2014 could be the end of my international football career.

What is the best time difference? I want something that’s not too late and not too early. Obviously, I don’t expect World Cups to be organised around my schedule but, you know, I’d appreciate it if they did. The 2002 World Cup was held in nearby South Korea and Japan. The time difference was only one hour and yet, I didn’t really like it because matches were held just a bit too early. I prefer watching matches in the evening and not in the afternoon. The English Premier League kick-offs are at a good time for me (9pm to 1am) but World Cup matches are usually played in the evening so European kick-offs would be 3am Malaysia time, and I don’t like that. I looked at a map of the world and I’ve decided that the best place for a World Cup to be held is Afghanistan. The matches will be not too late and not too early. So I will be petitioning for Afghanistan to host the World Cup and I am prepared to make a, er, “gift”.

But I will be watching to see if the time difference has an impact on Malaysia. Politics has become very strange and very noisy recently. I wonder if the very late (or are they very early?) matches will make things go a little quieter over the next four weeks.

Reprinted with the kind permission of