Of obligatory respect, steamy heat and children then and now
14 March 2016(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 14 March 2016 issue)
Dear Kam,
Have you seen the new PR campaign, #RespectMyPM? #Really?
#Really
A new public relations campaign — #RespectMyPM — is sweeping the nation. The big PR campaign during the last general elections was “I Love PM”. The difference between the two campaigns indicates two trends. The first is that the hashtag and German-style long compound words are probably now a permanent fixture in our lives: #getusedtoit (or #unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen as the Germans might say). The other is that the shift from love to respect is a retreat. In much of Asian life, love is an option but respect is an obligation. In the West, respect must be earned but here, it is an expectation, and we have all been warned about those dangerous Western Values. But even here, a badly behaved parent can lose trust, love and even respect. What comes after respect? “I am sorry I cannot make it back for Raya but I am taking my family to Bali for a holiday.”
Surprisingly, many people responded positively to #RespectMyPM. They obligingly cut and pasted the ready-made slogan to show their support for the embattled PM. If obligatory respect is the cornerstone of society, then many are probably fearful that the loss of basic respect could lead to the breakdown of civilisation. But many responded to the campaign with, well, what is the opposite of respect? One netizen changed the tagline in response to a story (perhaps true, perhaps not) that the DJ at a Singapore nightclub was forced to stop playing so that the Malaysian PM’s son (who is a DJ) could spin his MP3s instead: #RespectMyDJ.
Last week, I quoted The Simpsons and for some strange reason, I want to do the same this week. In one episode, Bart is filled with conflicting emotions when his father Homer is called upon by his nation to be an astronaut.
Bart: Wow, my father an astronaut. I feel so full of, what’s the opposite of shame?
Marge: Pride?
Bart: No, not that far from shame.
Homer: Less shame?
Bart: Yeah.
#LessShame.
Dear Kam,
Is it my imagination or has it been very, very hot?
Hot Hot Hot
Last week, there was a total solar eclipse over Kalimantan. I wish it had happened in Kuala Lumpur because it has been really, really hot and we could have done with some relief from the scorching sun. My weather forecasting app tells me that it is 36°C at the moment, which is ridiculously hot. But I have learnt to distrust this app because it keeps telling me that there is a 100% certainty of rain in the next hour. And then that hour never seems to come. I hope this kind of heat is not going to be our future but I fear it will be. But I like to be positive and find opportunities in a time of change. Not only can I now enjoy the chance to kill lots of mosquitoes but I think we can now create truly Asian fashionwear seasons. I have never understood why we slavishly follow European fashion seasons like spring/summer or especially autumn/winter when we can have drought/haze or rain/rain.
Dear Kam,
My wife thinks I am too tough on our son. I want him to go out of the house on his own but she says it is not safe, especially after she has heard stories about children being kidnapped. It is just that at 21, I think it would be good for him to go out unsupervised.
Paranoid Parent
As I get older, I find myself increasingly saying things like, “Things were better in my day” and starting sentences with “Kids these days …” and ending it with “… don’t know anything.” Actually, it is usually just one sentence. I mean, kids these days will never know the joy of unwrapping Windows 95 or the eager anticipation of waiting on dial-up internet (buffering … buffering). Were things better in the past or am I just resentful of my own lost youth? In my day, we all watched the same TV shows, so we were all on the same cultural wave. It helped to create a community. We all watched Dallas and we all wanted to know who shot JR. But Dallas was rubbish and I would not swap it for Mad Men. And the internet has opened up new communities that often make us feel deeply embarrassed about our once-upon-a-time foolish naivety and betrayed trust.
But there is one thing that I think I had in my childhood that the young of today will never experience. And I think the loss is a shame but completely understandable. In my day, it was perfectly normal for a middle-class child such as myself to be sent out of the house on my own to walk to the shops or to wander around on adventuresome days with friends completely unsupervised. For my mother who grew up in rural Wales, it was perfectly natural to let her children go out of the house on their own. We would wander around abandoned houses or cycle near and far and find ourselves in what were, looking back, truly dangerous situations. Kids these days will never have that chance, and understandably so. I know of children that did die on such adventures. If I had a child I would not let it go out unsupervised. But I think it is a shame that children today will not have that freedom to wander and learn for themselves. If only there was a way to create a zone that is both safe and unsafe, supervised and yet unsupervised, where children can have responsibility for themselves.
Reprinted with the kind permission of
