Kam Raslan’s Talking Edge

(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 31 October 2016 issue)

Dear Kam,
I want to take the family on a short holiday somewhere new, so not Europe this time, but maybe in Asia. Istanbul is in Asia, isn’t it?
Trusty Traveller

I have just come back from a weekend trip to the Mulu Caves in Sarawak and it was astonishing. The caves, the rivers and the surrounding jungle are a genuine natural wonder. I am not so much afraid of the jungle as daunted by it. The jungle looks like hard work and yet in the Mulu National Park, there is still hard work but it is beautifully accessible.

The excellent guides are all locals, so they have a cultural history with the landscape. They have none of the fear of the jungle that is so predictably tedious among almost all West Malaysians. I went on a night walk into the jungle with a group of West Malaysians who were whispering, “Takut!”, because of the strange sounds bellowing from the unknown darkness. But as soon as our guide shone his torchlight on the beautiful insect that was creating the sound, any fear was instantly replaced by wonder.

For two days, we were sped up rivers on long boats, walked and climbed and sweated and went deep into mysterious caves made less mysterious by our knowledgeable guides. By the end of the second day, my muscles were aching, but we finally visited Deer Cave, the largest and most majestic of all the caves. It is very rare but always gratifying to visit somewhere that cannot be photographed.

Deer Cave cannot be captured in a photo, not because it’s too dark but because it is too big. Sunlight comes slanting in through the mouth of the cave, burnishing the floor like a dark Martian landscape and above us, the ceiling keeps getting higher and higher until you see a dark patch making up just a fraction of what is a million bats. Afterwards, we descended from the cave to a comfortable viewing area where we watched countless bats stream out at sunset in long snaking formations for their nightly hunt. The abundance of bats and swifts could be why, despite being in the jungle, I never saw a single mosquito. I need to get some bats for my place in Ampang.

If you haven’t already been, then you must visit the Mulu Caves. Make sure you take a lot of water, don’t expect decent food and it really does help if you’re able-bodied (although I saw several Penang aunties tackle everything slowly but unstoppably). The caves, the clear rivers and the jungle are all astonishing and the park is run with great efficiency and respect for the landscape. And it’s all in Malaysia. Sarawak is still part of Malaysia, isn’t it?

Say Kam,
I was asking my friends if any of them love Kuala Lumpur like New Yorkers love New York. None of them said they do. Is KL really that bad?
Anonymous

I was driving an Indian visitor from New Delhi around KL. He absolutely loves his New Delhi but he quickly became enamoured with KL and he commented that the city looks very clean and modern and that everything functions well. I said, “Really? KL?” His comment took me by surprise.

I’m used to complaining about KL with its disruptions caused by questionable construction projects and the fear I feel that a huge chunk of concrete will come crashing down when I drive below one. I’m so used to calculating the corruption and arrogance of the city skyline. I’m used to missing what once stood there, and the feeling of helplessness that my city engenders because I know I have absolutely no say whatsoever about the ugly buildings that will come. It never crosses my mind that to an outsider, it might look clean, modern and efficient. Really? KL?

So, I tried looking at KL through his eyes and I realised that it actually is quite clean. Some of the highways are genuinely useful and parts of the city are quite attractive. Perhaps I am too critical. But the problem is that I am not from New Delhi. I’m going to guess that more Malaysians have travelled to London and certainly Singapore than to New Delhi and Mumbai. Sadly, Malaysians are a worldly people and we tend to measure ourselves against the great developed cities that are perhaps beyond our means, as opposed to the cities of the developing world that are our real peers. Sadly, we will never be satisfied, but that’s a good thing. We will continue demanding that design and function improve and that our built heritage be preserved and not just obliterated because politicians want to rewrite our shared history. But that’s assuming anyone cares what we think. I have a crazy idea: How about we have an elected mayor?

Kam,
I think it’s disgraceful that foreign tourists come to Malaysia just to have a good time. We should be teaching them about our fabulous infrastructure and coalition politics. If they just want a good time, then they should go somewhere else instead.
Party Pooper

Driving from Kuala Lumpur International Airport, I saw two billboards for Indonesian and Malaysian tourism. The Indonesian advertisement has a very simple message. With the tagline “Wonderful Indonesia”, it is a picture of two foreign-looking girls in short summer dresses (cute but not slutty) enjoying themselves in a beautiful Indonesian landscape. The message is that Indonesia is beautiful and that foreigners are welcome and will not be harassed. Simple and effective, especially when viewed from a speeding car.

And then, there was the Malaysian advert from Malaysia Airlines. I’ve always despaired of Malaysian tourism ads because they are so overly complicated and rarely designed for foreigners, who should surely be the target audience. This Malaysian ad squeezed in so many images of Malaysian things, including a proboscis monkey and probably KLCC. I couldn’t see all the images because there were so many, and we were speeding past, but that’s precisely why a billboard ad must be simple and clear.

Our diversity is a beautiful thing and in our tourism ads, we feel the need to show a shopping list of absolutely everything, but where each thing is a separate entity that will never be encapsulated in a single arresting image. The result is an unattractive and confusing mess. The prospective tourist is simply not interested in our fabulous infrastructure and coalition politics. We really don’t need tuan’s validation anymore; we just want their money.

As Thailand knows, it simply does not matter if they arrive knowing nothing and leave knowing nothing. They are tourists, not voters in a marginal constituency. The image should be emotionally evocative, speaking of the romance and excitement of travel, and with the promise that they will not be harassed. Unfortunately, all too often, our ads seem to be telling the tourist that at the end of their holiday, they will be sitting for an exam.

Reprinted with the kind permission of