Kam Raslan’s Talking Edge

(Reprinted from The Edge – Options pullout, 12 May 2014 issue)

Dear Kam,
My question is simple: Hudud? Sedition?
Confused and Baffled

It’s as if the unsinkable 1Titanic is heading for an iceberg but instead of taking evasive action, the decision is made to crash straight into it. Despite now having a great big gash in the hull, the ship is reversed and slammed back into the iceberg repeatedly and everyone on board seems to be bizarrely cheering as they watch their own ship be smashed into pieces. And where is the captain?

I don’t even know what sedition is. As I understand it, sedition should be about organising or calling for the complete overthrow of the established order. That’s a very serious charge. Now some high profile Opposition leaders are being pursued in the courts for sedition. I’m not a lawyer but when I look at these cases, I just don’t see any calling for the overthrow of the established order. Clearly, I don’t know what sedition is.

Dear Kam,
I disagree with so much of Obama’s foreign policy (drone strikes, Guatanamo) and yet I still like him. Is there something wrong with me?
Obama Crush

Obama got a lot of love when he was in Asia recently. He might even be more popular overseas than he is in the US. But although his presidency has not risen to the heights of his magnificent early speeches, he is still essentially popular at home. After all, he’ll always be better than Bush.

I’ve often wondered why the Republicans in the US hate Barack Obama so much. Republican politicians have simply refused to vote with Democrats on anything. Even during the last election, Republican candidate Mitt Romney attacked Obama’s healthcare law despite the fact that “Obamacare” was based on Mitt Romney’s own plan that he enacted when he was governor of Massachusetts. Blind hypocrisy doesn’t get much more obvious than that.

The principal theory for why Republicans hate Obama is because he is a black man (his mother was white but she was clearly some crazy hippy because she married a Kenyan and later an Indonesian). Obama’s ethnicity just doesn’t fit America’s self-image, and so they hate him. But Republicans also really hated Bill Clinton, and he’s definitely not black.

I think the reason why Republicans hate Obama and Clinton is because they are popular, which makes Republicans frustrated and drives them to anger. Republicans simply cannot find a way to respond. Every Republican candidate or political platform is seriously flawed. They might be wildly popular with a minority, but they are completely unpopular with the majority needed to win the White House. Driven by anger, desperation and frustration, Republicans are actively working to deny thousands their right to vote, they’re throwing huge amounts of money into smear campaigns and they refuse to support any Democrat legislation or even to talk to the president. It’s as if they want to believe that Obama doesn’t actually exist. Now, that doesn’t sound familiar at all.

Dear Kam,
Question: I’m addicted to Facebook but I’m not sure if it’s good for me. I mean, I never feel happier after reading other people’s postings.
Facebook Junkie

I too enjoy reading Facebook. I have hundreds of “Friends” but I never actually post anything myself because I don’t know what to say. Do I tell people I’m at home scratching myself? That doesn’t sound very glamorous. Instead, I just read other people’s postings.

I’ve discovered that there are three main constant themes. First of all, everybody obviously leads such exciting and fulfilled lives. They’re always travelling to exciting destinations and taking happy selfies. Meanwhile, I visited the Kedai Telekom at Ampang Point. Everybody else’s life is so much more exciting than mine, and this makes me feel inadequate.

Another key message I get from Facebook is that Malaysia is doomed. I mean really, really doomed. As in, last one leaving please turn off the lights. Every crackpot utterance is instantly posted and after reading a few, I start to feel concerned. Actually, on a bad day, when the crazies are really going for it, I feel deeply worried. And yet when I was visiting the Kedai Telekom at Ampang Point, everything seemed so calm and normal. As far as I know, I didn’t witness any Christian/Jewish/American/Etc plots. Instead, I experienced the predictably huge amounts of paperwork needed to cancel a Streamyx account. What would happen to the Malaysian Civil Service if they really went “paperless”? Could they cope without everything being in triplicate? But I forgot, Telekom has been privatised. Silly me.

The final constant theme on Facebook is the uplifting videos and quotes. I guess that everybody feels depressed about their lives and the state of the nation after a few minutes on Facebook, so they repost inspirational videos of a little girl singing/an old woman dancing/a Ukrainian sand-box artist/etc. The post will have a title like, “She came to sing a song. What she did next blew my mind”. I try not to but I invariably watch the video, and I shed a tear. It’s only a long time later that I realise that the girl didn’t sing that well, I mean, she was OK. I think I shed a tear not so much because of the quality of her singing but because of the seemingly spontaneous astonishment, love and applause of the audience. It meant something to them, so it meant something to me, and for a moment I was not alone, I was part of a community. For a moment I could forget the crazies (could they sing like that little girl? I doubt it) and I could feel inspired.

And then I start scrolling through Facebook again only to be re-reminded that everybody else’s lives are so exciting and fulfilled (Dammit, they’re in Tuscany again?!) and that things are getting really bizarre (football coaches? Did I read that right? I mean, what?). And of course, there is the final, final constant theme of the Malaysian Facebook experience — photographs of what people are eating. I want that bowl of noodles! Why have I never eaten those noodles? It’s a plot.

Scrolling through Facebook is an emotional roller-coaster experience, but I suppose I must remember that people only post the good things in life, and the things that frighten them the most. Reality probably exists somewhere in between, somewhere near Ampang Point.

Reprinted with the kind permission of